last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
