Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
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