so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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