I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
