I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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