Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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