At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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