I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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