Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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