He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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