She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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