Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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