he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
