Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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