I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize