he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.