Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
