im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
