if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
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I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
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he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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