take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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