Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
