Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
