And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I am mentally ready for anal.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
