too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
