i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
