at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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