Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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