he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
