Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Screwed.edu
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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