Christians are straight up FREAKS
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
