Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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