either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
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I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
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I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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