youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The uberlube is also flammable
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
