I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize