Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
