but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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