even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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