so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
