can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
