i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think your dad took our porno
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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