I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
