last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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