Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
