She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he thought i was a dude.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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