whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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