got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
