wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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