i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
