i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
