I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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