Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
