can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
