All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
