I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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