are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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