Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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