Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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