Who wears a wallet chain?!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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