Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
