Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
dude. I can hear the air.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
